Now that it has passed I feel like I can finally write about it. I experienced some mild mood swings during valentine's day.
I basically went from:
To
Over and over again.
I think there are a number of things that influenced my feeling during Valentine's Day
1) They were this Candy/Roses thing they were doing this week in school and basically people pay $3.50 to send a flower and some chocolates to their crush/boo thang/ friend/or whatever on Valentine's Day. Members of the student council went around the school delivering them and when they got to my class during first period... I was kinda secretly hoping someone had bought one for me (Lame, I know)
2) The annoying ass couples wearing matching clothes and walking around the hallways hand in hand. I mean, some were kind of cute but still.
3) this time last year I told myself something along the lines of "don't worry, you'll be in a new school this time next year and there will lots of cute boys and lots of options too". Fast forward and look where I am now. Yes there are options here ( this school is more diverse than my old school) but if I had to choose, I would probably circle none of the above. Nobody has really caught my attention and tbh none of them are really attractive (i'm talking about looks AND personality).
4) There is this tall and kind of good looking Korean guy and he moved here sometime in 2012 (found this out from my "friends"). But the thing is.. he's always alone and I think he's alone by choice. I have seen people talking to him during lunchtime but ultimately I never see him with them. So I don't want to go up to him and try and be friendly if he's not interested in making friends. I don't want to bother him or be a pest so I think it's just best that I mind my business.
5) I think I'm just really lonely. I don't have many friends and the friends I do have are irritating 70% of the time. So I guess it makes sense for me to want to find someone who makes me feel really happy and content. I JUST WANT A PARTNER IN CRIME.
6) I've watched too many Kdramas and romantic tv shows in general. Somehow I've allowed them to convince me that If just be myself, some rich, sexy chaebol will fall in love with me. I don't actually believe stuff like that happens in real life but they have somehow wormed their way into my subconscious. And now I can't help but be a hopeless romantic.
It's really annoying actually. I just want to be a cynic sometimes.
6b) Example 1 : Olitz.
This couple literally messes with my emotions like crazy. They are the reason for my downfall. they made me soft. I don't want to believe in true love anymore! Make it stop!
But on a serious note though, I'm obsessed with this show.
Example : 2 Coffee Prince
Coffee Prince was my first Kdrama; I watched it when I was really young and it basically made me fall in love with love. I had the worst case of Kdrama withdrawal after I finished watching it because I just couldn't get over how amazing it was. Its still my favorite Drama because it was the first time I had ever been exposed to such a convincing love story. Coffee Prince definitely affected me. I was a girly girl but after I finished it, I was like "Should I become a tomboy?" lol that didn't happened though.
7) Lastly, I just want to end by saying, with or without a man I'm still a pretty cool person I think. I'm awkward and I don't quite fit into one box but i'm here. I'm still me.
I'm still Beyonce. So i'm gonna sit steady and wait patiently for the right one. And in the mean time I'll continue to be me and continue to be awesome.
