The Queen's Classroom Review

"Every living thing has a right to live. Nobody has the right to give their lives up. You can't abandon yourself. As soon as you're born, you are precious to someone. Stop being anxious. Don't be scared. If you don't give up on yourself, no one else can. You have to believe that you're precious. Then with that heart, instead of bullying, you have to live knowing that your friends around you are precious too. You're not alone." - Teacher Ma

Words cannot begin to describe how special, amazing and touching, this drama is.Its been a while since something made me change my outlook on life. what a gift this drama was.Their progress wasn't made in 1 or 2 episode and I really appreciated that. it was very deliberately gradual and you literally see them maturing and becoming more aware of who they were and how they affected the people around them.

 Now, I usually don't listen to OSTs before I watch the drama but i'm so glad i did with this one. it was Green Rain + my love for SHINee that led me to this life changing drama. After I found the song, I listened to the song over and over again. It was kind of like the feeling I got when I finished Sungkyunkwan Scandal and I listened to Found You over and over again because it just gave me feels.

Teacher Ma

My first reaction to her and her treatment of the students was

I was just as mad as the students when they reported her to Na Ri's mother and I was all like "This woman really shouldn't be allowed to just emotionally scar these children like that!"
But in the end she raised little warriors. youngsters who were not afraid to let their opinions be heard and were not afraid of the consequences of their actions. they learned to stand their ground and not give up when the going gets tough. and it was so touching to see how they grew and changed. Cuz at the end of the day, they were 11 year old and they had a LOT of room to grow. What she did for their parents was CHARITY. they didn't even fully realize how much she improved their children for them. She basically did half their work for them. AT The end she should have been like

Shim Ha Na

Ha Na is too goddamn sweet and kind hearted. Sometimes I really wanted her to become more cynical. I know If I was in some of the situations she found her self in, I would've dialed 1800 choke that hoe A LOOOONG time ago. When I was her age I was like a fire cracker. I was pretty nice but I never knew when my anger would get the best of me. But in a way I admire Ha Na. she just wants everyone to live in peace and harmony and she believes in the power of friendship. She is a real natural born leader. It takes real courage to deal with things the way she dealt with them. At times she was sooo damn idealistic and frustrating but just so cute and wonderful.

Oh Dong Goo

Oh Dong Goo was just that character that made you want to laugh as much as he made you want to cry. His story touched me so much because you could tell he was hurting but he concealed it by making himself into the class clown. I just wanted to hug him extra tight and tell if that he was special and adorable and special and adorable lol. He was soooo caring of others even when they pushed him away and hurt his feelings. He never allowed anyone to really see him hurt and it really broke my heart. He never tried to blame others for his problems or lash out on other people. What an incredibly strong and great kid!!

I can't talk about ALL the characters but I will say this. 1) All the child actors were ON POINT! 2) We really got a sense of each character. they were so 3 dimensional with their own interests and problems. 3) They each kind of  represented a member of our society.

I have never EVER EVER cried the way I cried watching this drama and It took me by surprise because I just wasn't expecting it to be that DEEP but It was!! Real thug tears were shed.

And of course every time Green Rain came on I just cried even more.

During the first couple of episodes, I thought Teacher Ma was just straight up HORRIBLE to those kids but at the same time, she was my bitch tho. Every time she verbally took someone down I was like 

LET.THEM.KNOW.THA.TRUTH GURL!!

I lowkey looooved how bitchy and over-confident she was. But at the same time I wanted her to get fired lol.

Lastly, is it just me or is this woman just flawless and beautiful!? MAJOR girl crush material

 Like,  now I just want to see her in everything. She KILLED it as Teacher Ma. All her facial expressions were subtle but effective. Even when she had a blank face she was still killing it. BRILLIANT.

Annyeong 2014!!!

"This will be the year of ME"
"I'm gonna lose ___ pounds this year "
"Imma get straight As this year, just watch me"
These are things I've said at the beginning of several new years. Before I continue, let me start by saying:

Who else is happy about the prospect of new and interesting things happening to them this year!? And who else is ready to leave 2013 bullshit in 2013? I'm so team 2014 like, 2013 who? I'm waaay too hyped lol.
But anyway back to what I said at the beginning of the post. Those are the things I said to myself year after year and putting sooo much pressure on myself and guess what? I achieved NOT ONE 'EM.

 I know I didn't achieve all the things I wanted to achieve in 2013 but for some reason i'm not too sad about it. I remember at the end of 2012 I was like "Why didn't I do all the things I wanted to do this year? I'm still the same as how I was on January 1st". But now I can admit it, i'm still a work in progress. I don't look much different on the outside but DAMN I have changed so much on the inside like its not even funny. I can confidently say I'm not the same person who started 2013. I feel like I started 2013 as a girl and ended the year as a WOMAN.

 I know that sounds corny as hell but it really is very true. I can't even begin to describe how different I am now. I've become this person that I LIKE. I like me. I've always liked ME but now I reeally like who I've become. I'm unapologetic about my opinions and I physically cannot allow people to mold me into what they want me to become.

But of course I'm still on my quest for the "close-to-perfect" me because I'll be lying if I said i'm 100% content with who I am. Just because I like me, doesn't mean I'm not open to improving me. Yes, I still want to lose weight, yes I still want better skin yes, I still want to improve my grades because like I said before, I'm a work in progress. But I don't feel that PRESSURE I used to feel. I don't feel like I racing against myself any more and that feels great.
Of course, I'm permanently open to the idea of  a life changing experience and just something really good happening to me so that's the cause of my excitement. I seriously can't wait to see what this year brings!!

Soooooo guys,  Cheers to this year being... idk.. just a really fan-fucking-tastic year.

The Painter of the Wind : Review

I would liken this drama to a really good painting; it was beautiful, moving and impactful. I know some would consider it "slow" but I honestly didn't have any problems with the pacing. Like I said before, it really was like a beautiful painting.
the beginning pulled me in right away especially when he referred to her as his "student, teacher, friend and lover" and I seriously died. I already knew I would  love their love from that moment.

Okay,  I'm going to stop going on about my feels and just get into the notes:

1) This drama was much deeper and daring than I thought it would be but in a good way. Yes, there are some similarities between this drama and Sungkyunkwan Scandal (I already knew about the similarities between the two before I watched TPOTW). But it made Sung Scandal look so light and fluffy. Of course I still love Sung Scandal and I can't even decide which one I like more because they are in two different categories. But I think TPOTW is just more...mature. 

2) She was in  in love with a man and a woman at the same time! This is something I have NEVER EVER seen in a Kdrama.  I know she acknowledged her feelings for Jung Hyang before she realized she was in love with Danwon too, but before she acknowledged her feelings for him, there was still some obvious undeniable sexual tension between them.


3) I must be the only person that thought this and I really don't care buuuut...was I the only one that found Kim Hongdo AKA Danwon HOT? Like everything he did was hot to me. Even when he was being silly, I was still like

And its funny because when I first heard about this drama I was like "Really? Why does she have to get paired with some old guy?  Like why can't she have someone attractive?" and then when you fast forward to me watching the drama and I'm like 2 seconds away from jumping him.

4) pieces of her back story are just sprinkled in each episode. we don't get her full back story immediately like I was expecting so at first I was like, "Am I watching episode 6 or episode 1? Like who is she and how is she here?". But in end I think I was fine with the fact that we were left in the dark for a few episodes. It made her seem more mysterious and it really built anticipation.

5)I have never before shipped the main character with the main love interest AND the third angle in love triangle but seriously I wanted Yun Bok with Danwon AND Jung Hyang. I was like "Why is this not burger King!? why can't I have it my way!?"

6)the whole lesbian thing didn't bother me. neither did the age difference between Yun Bok and Danwon. But she's 18 so it's really not that bad! I think the main problem is the deception aspect.I mean, they both fell for her thinking she was a boy. Surprisingly, Danwon wasn't mad at her about the whole "deception" thing tho. He understood that it wasn't her fault that she had to pretend to be a boy. He directed his anger at the right person which is her adoptive father. The 3945454455th reason why I loved Danwon.

 7) Although, the Jung Hyang/ Yun Bok ship was tying with the Danwon/Yun Bok ship, ultimately the Danwon/ Yun Bok ship won my heart. Because I mean,  they were just EVERYTHING to EACH OTHER. (Like Danwon stated in the heartbreaking first scene). They were each other's biggest supporters. They could be completely free and crazy with each other. (Get prepared because i'm gonna say "each other ALOT")

 They argued with each other, They cried in each other's arms, they made sacrifices for each other, they laughed with each other, they exchanged meaningful looks with each other. They learned so much from each other, they appreciated each other's talent. They just wanted to spend the rest of their lives with EACH OTHER. It didn't matter where they were as long as they were together.
.
Damn..this fictional  love story got  me writing paragraphs n shit. .

8) Yes, I was hoping there would be a kiss scene with Danwon and Yun Bok but I had a feeling we wouldn't get one. But the forehead kiss scene was so lovely!! These two were so beautiful and affectionate, that I didn't even need a kiss scene to feel satisfied with their love story. I was good after that forehead kiss scene

9) This drama seriously made me wish I could draw!! **Maybe if I get into art, I'll find my Danwon lol. 

Lastly, shout out to Bae Soo Bin for being so hot as king Jeongjo. I'm so glad I could like him this time cuz I hated his character in 49 days.

Shout out to Moon Geun Young too. What a brilliant actor she is!! She absolutely took me there!! Love love love her.

10) I will not discuss the ending because I refuse to accept it. In my mind, Danwon and Hyewon (Yes, I'm using Yun Bok's pen name cuz it sounds cute when you say it with Danwon) ran away to some peaceful, faraway land, had 2 children and painted landscapes and portraits for the rest of their lives. The end.

**Must reduce thirst level

How To Deal With Disappointment/Rejection Part 2

This is  what I wrote when I made the list (before I got the Email of Doom) :
"I decided to make this post because I was thinking about that scholarship thingy I applied to and I started thinking "if they don't take me (god forbid) I have to figure out a way to deal". So I decided to make this before they send me the letter (they're sending every one who applied a letter telling the person whether or not they got in) so I will have my coping tips all ready  just in case the worst case scenario actually happens.
So if your dealing with any form of rejection/disappointment (i.e your crush said he don't want you, You don't get into the college/university of your choice e.t.c)
I hope these will help you!"

K so, here they are!
1) Allow yourself to cry only once or twice maybe three times. after that, GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF.

 any more than that you are indulging yourself. more crying leads to more crying and before you know you'll be swimming in tears. Don't allow yourself to do that

2) surround yourself with people who love you and vice versa.

 My "friends" aren't really there for me the way I would like for them to be there for me but luckily I have my sisters and they've been really great and helpful. So I owe them a big thank you.

3) Inject positivity into  your mind. convince yourself that you are way too good anyway

Delete all the negative thoughts before they even cross your mind. You have to make yourself believe you're all right. 

4) Do something you love ALOT. go noraebang-ing until you drop. 

Party! let loose, go cray and just  release all the tension!! But don't go too crazy. 

5) Do not comfort eat. 

 trust me, that only leads to a downward spiral. its going to make you feel worse in the future. so just don't do it.

6) think about other people's lives. 

there people dying every day. children are losing their mothers, people are going to bed on an empty stomach. some people can't even afford to go to school. bottom line: your life could be worse.

6) meditate, do some yoga, help someone in need. 

you will truly start to appreciate yourself when you realize that all the things you can do. 

7) Lastly just smile. I know its hard but just do it. fake it til you make it. 

****BONUS****

The Queen Bey herself decided to bless the world by releasing her 5th album on Itunes and she didn't even tell anybody!! No warnings, no promos, no nothing so it really was like Christmas morning. I fangirled for days over it. I almost wrote a 5 paragraph essay on why I think Beyonce is the ultimate life giver.I mean,  17 MUSIC VIDEOS!! I don't think I could have dealt with this situation so well without her. At least I have something to be happy about this Christmas. Mama really cares about us. But she clearly doesn't care about our health. 

And she also reminded me of something VERY important and relevant to my situation right now

Nothing is ever really certain in lie and just because you work hard doesn't mean it will happen for you. But that doesn't me your life is over. You have to keep it moving and make yourself happy. 

 I really needed this.